When I say "abyss," however, I don't mean it in the derogatory sense. No, I mean abyss in the sense that Japan is still an endless mystery to me. True, I've seen a lot and met dozens of people from all over Japan, but what does that count for? My opinions and views may have changed, but my experience still feels very limited.
As for the first part of the quote, I do in fact think of Japan as a beautiful place with brilliant people. I've come appreciate Japan's literal (hanami!) and figurative (you can drink alcohol in public!) beauty. I've grown to admire the people as well. The ones I got to know personally have proved to be brilliantly flexible, independent, hardworking, and yet they all know when and how to party.
That being said, even now, I can't say I fully love Japan. I can say that I love the people I've come to know, and I love Osaka, and okonomiyaki, and takoyaki, but I don't see myself returning to Japan anytime soon. Maybe I'm homesick, or maybe I won't want to return until I'm gone, but for now I'm okay with leaving.
Still, there is one thing I know for sure: I will forever miss my trips on the Osaka loop.